Six Nations

If that second French try hadn't been given.

If only, if only.

What a day of rugby.

 

Bad luck puppies

 

GOOD team of the tournament

1. Cian Healy

Doesn't take long to get back to his mongrel self at the breakdown.

2. Scott Baldwin

Should be more than enough to end the inexplicable reputation of Hibbard as the best Wales have, or even necessary in any way.

3. Dan Cole

Potato-faced behemoth.

4. Josh Furno

Constantly either at the heart of Italian set piece dominance or standing blameless while those around him fail to tackle.

5. Paul O'Connell

Does this year after year after fucking year

6. Peter O'Mahoney

When the Norse wrote epic tales of what they called the trickster god, they didn't mention he was a gobby Irish back rower

7. Chris Robshaw

Much maligned by idiots, this man consistently turned over good teams and averaged 16 tackles a game. Averaged!

8. Billy Vunipola

Billy run. Billy smash. Billy eat 15 jacket potatoes. Billy rest.

9. Conor Murray

Now giving flawless performances week in week out

10. George Ford

Some are suggesting this tournament means he should be starting in the World Cup. I'd suggest that was already happening, and this tournament means he should be beatified.

11. George North

North hasn't done anything a while. North isn't playing at his best. Maybe Wales won't be able to score many today. Maybe they should bring back Cuthbert. Maybe he shouldn't have an automatic place in any XV you can think of LOLNOPE

12. Robbie Henshaw

More than just a lump of midfield mass, Henshaw actually goes on the field with the intention of seeking out as much work as possible, in attack or defence. This is what a modern big man looks like, Mathieu.

13. Jonathan Joseph

There is a school of thought in the rugby press that modern tries never come from individual brilliance, that they always are the product of the best laid plans executed perfectly to prey on the inherent weaknesses in what would otherwise be a faultless defensive operation. Joseph hasn't heard this as he's too busy casually triple-jumping over defenders.

14. Anthony Watson

I don't know how those of you who become upset by the passage of time are dealing with this, but there is now a player who looks completely at home in internationals in more than one position who was born in 1994. I'll just leave that fact there.

15. Leigh Halfpenny

Kryptonian.

 

SHIT team of the tournament

1. Gethin Jenkins

Roughly as intimidating in the scrum as a sheet of cardboard with his face from 2011 drawn on it.

2. Dylan Hartley

Those who say he is the best lineout thrower England have by far will probably have missed his lineout being generally pants all tournament as that's a 'fact' born entirely out of confirmation bias. They probably will have noticed his carrying leading to two penalties versus Wales and then being entirely nonexistent for the rest of the tournament.

3. Geoff Cross

A lot has been made over how fun it is to talk about Cross' beard, its potential applications in surface cleaning, what kinds of birds may nest in it, and so on. It's less important but also worth noting that his six nations has been shite.

4. Pascal Pape

Shit last year, dirty shit this yer.

5. Marco Bortolami

Still inexplicably played.

6. James Haskell

Yes this is harsh. No, he isn't an international player. Brainless.

7. Samuela Vunisa

Do you remember who Vunisa played for? In a tournament full of good sevens Italy fielded three, all of them crap.

8. Johnnie Beattie

With David Denton out, why not try this card-attracting space occupier? Order now and get this lovely wooden spoon absolutely free

9. Rory Kockott

This six nations was full of top scrum half performances. Kockott is mainly here for his very, very clear 'not being as good as Morgan Parra' problem. That and Butler trying to make his name sound French.

10. Kelly Haimona

I love a good chicken salad wrap. Tasy, filling and good for me. I would not ask one to be an international fly half. It is clearly not suited for that task. It is for a different task.

11. Dougie Fife

Lightweight.

12. Luther Burrell

Did a lot of hard work to make sure Ford skipped him out and passed straight to the players outside him. Tried to make up for it by giving away penalties.

13. Jared Payne

'Boss, I'm concerned that without Brian our team's just a kicking 3-point generator'
'Let's get that New Zealander who plays for Ulster in there. Be the playmaker of the new backline'
'Good idea boss'
'Then never pass him the ball'
'Obviously'

14. Tommy Bowe

'Oh, and before you go, tell Tommy that I know about that note he stuck to my back last week. He's only to clear out rucks for the next month.'

15. Scott Spedding

I don't understand the point of Scott Spedding.

 

It's easy to say as an England supporter, but winning or losing the 6N based entirely on how badly you stuffed Scotland leaves a bad taste, doesn't it?

I'd quite like to see the first tiebreaker be the points difference gained when only counting matches between the tied teams. Means the key matches are the outset really are the key matches at the end, and you wouldn't lose the tile to a team you beat if there's two at the top.

 

Yeah fair point